Rajnikant Jokes

1) Time and Tide waits for Rajnikanth…! Mind it..!

2) Once Rajnikant participated in a 100m race,obviously he won but Einstein died after seeing that light came Fourth. And, yes Rajni did come firs,second, and third.

3) Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result – He was reduced to a joke on the internet.

4) Jack Sparrow adresses HIM as captain Rajini Kanth.

5) Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.

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6) Once Superman made a bet with Rajni…….The loser had to wear underwear outside.

7) CNN Reports “Real reason why Paul, the octopus dies because some idiot asked him to predict Rajni’s death”.

8) A child went to Kashmir & started playing by making mountains from ice. Today those mountains are called “Himalyaas” & that child is called “RAJNIKANT”.

9) As a Kid RAJNIKANT maintained a diary of his day to day activities……….Today that diary is called “The GUINESS BOOK OF OWRLD RECORDS”/

10) Rajni has a terrace in his basement. Rajinikanth’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

11) The missing piece of the Apple Inc. logo was eaten by…….who else than RAJNI.

12) Intel’s new tagline “Rajni Insiade” !! ?

13) Rajinikanth committed suicide, and lived.

14) Rajni was Shot yesterday, today is bullet’s funeral.

15) Once Rajnikant showed middle finger to his wife, guess what ……..She got PREGNANT.

16) The new symbol for Rupee is actually Rajnikant’s Signature.

17) Rajni was the cause for the Tsunami. As he dived in the sea from the helicopter,  water came out of the sea in the form of TSUNAMI.!!!

18) Rajnikant Can Finish Super Mario………….Without Using The Jump Button …….

19) There’s nothing like recession, it’s just that Rajnikanth started saving some money..!

20) Do u know Rajni Killed the Dead sea.

21) Only Rajni know’s “How I met your mother” and “who will be the next millionaire” and also “knows Victoria’s secret”.

22) Rajinikanth can make onions cry.


Rajnikant Jokes


  • The Vodafone 3G Zoozoo must have seen a lot of Rajini movies.
  • Who is the first Indian to use 4G?……… Har baar Rajnikanth nahi hota….. This time it is Anil Kapoor (aG , oG, lo G, suno G)
  • Why does needle of Magnetic Compass always point towards North? Because Rajnikanth lives in the South and no one can point at him.
  • English Movies Dubbed in Hindi:
    Hurt Locker – Ghayal Tijori
    Batman- Ballebaj
    She’s the man- Bobby darling
    Blood diamond- Khooni Heera
    Saw- Dekha
    Saw2- Doabara Dekha
    Saw3- Phirse Dekha
    Saw4- Baar Baar Dekha
    Superman,Spiderman,X-men,Hulk etc- Rajnikanth

 

  • Good > Better > Best > Rajnikanth
  • When Rajnikanth crosses the street, cars have to look both ways.
  • One day Rajni’s mobile phone accidentally dropped from his hands while he was standing in his balcony. The mobile fall down but it didn’t reach the ground. Because Rajnikanth ordered it to come back.
  • There’s no space bar on Rajni’s computer. Words automatically give him space.
  • No more TSUNAMIS will come from now. Rajnikanth has stooped washing his LUNGI inIndian ocean.
  • When Rajnikant logs on to facebook.com, facebook updates its status message.
  • Rajnikant is injurious to cigarette
  • Girl (romantically) to Rajnikanth: 1 chutki sindoor ki keemat tum kya jano?
    Rajnikanth: 0.00078924576 Rs. per gram.
  • Boost is the secret of Sachin Tendulkar’s Energy & Rajni is the secret of Boosts energy.
  • Rajnikanth’s postal address: Rajnikanth ,Madras.
  • A farmer instead of keeping Scarecrow in his farm kept the photo of Rajnikanth, Birds started to bring back grains which they had took last year.

More Rajnikanth Jokes

2) Once Rajnikant participated in a 100m race,obviously he won but Einstein died after seeing that light came Fourth. And, yes Rajni did come firs,second, and third.

3) Chuck Norris once met Rajinikanth. The result – He was reduced to a joke on the internet.

4) Jack Sparrow adresses HIM as captain Rajini Kanth.

5) Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.

6) Once Superman made a bet with Rajni…….The loser had to wear underwear outside.

7) CNN Reports “Real reason why Paul, the octopus dies because some idiot asked him to predict Rajni’s death”.

8) A child went to Kashmir & started playing by making mountains from ice. Today those mountains are called “Himalyaas” & that child is called “RAJNIKANT”.

9) As a Kid RAJNIKANT maintained a diary of his day to day activities……….Today that diary is called “The GUINESS BOOK OF OWRLD RECORDS”/

10) Rajni has a terrace in his basement. Rajinikanth’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

11) The missing piece of the Apple Inc. logo was eaten by…….who else than RAJNI.

12) Intel’s new tagline “Rajni Insiade” !! ?

13) Rajinikanth committed suicide, and lived.

14) Rajni was Shot yesterday, today is bullet’s funeral.

15) Once Rajnikant showed middle finger to his wife, guess what ……..She got PREGNANT.

16) The new symbol for Rupee is actually Rajnikant’s Signature.

17) Rajni was the cause for the Tsunami. As he dived in the sea from the helicopter,  water came out of the sea in the form of TSUNAMI.!!!

18) Rajnikant Can Finish Super Mario………….Without Using The Jump Button …….

19) There’s nothing like recession, it’s just that Rajnikanth started saving some money..!

20) Do u know Rajni Killed the Dead sea.

21) Only Rajni know’s “How I met your mother” and “who will be the next millionaire” and also “knows Victoria’s secret”

22) Rajinikanth can make onions cry.


rajnikanth jokes

 


Best Rajnikant Jokes

Get set for Hilarious Rajnikant Jokes :

• Pyramids of Egypt are actually Rajni’s primary school geometry assignments. Shut up I say.

• Once Rajnikant casually played a defensive shot in cricket. Now that poor ball is known as Pluto

Rajnikant can judge a book by its cover.

• If Rajni want to eat ice cream what does he do???

He goes to Himalaya and start licking the mountain over there

In a fight between Batman and Spider Man, the winner would be Rajnikant.

• Rajnikant got his drivers license at the age of 11. Seconds

• When Rajnikant does division, there are no remainders

• With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajnikant is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

• Rajnikant never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

Rajnikant can bend light. With his bare hands.

• Rajni had a fight with his wife. he showed his middle finger in anger and the wife became pregnant.

ADAM AND EVE ARE SONS OF RAJNIKANTH

• Once Rajni gave IIT JEE exam … IIT was rejected.

• Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea

• Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin. after deleting files rajni doesnt send them to recycle bin, he sends them to HELL

• After 20 years… “ROBOTS” will make a movie...”RAJNIKANT”…!!!

• Rajni once ate the entire cake at a bachelor party before anyone could tell him there was a stripper in it.

Rajni once met Chiranjeevi on the street. Rajni burst into laughter, Chiranjeevi burst into tears, and every passing car burst into flames.

• Every dog has his day. Rajni has all the seven dogs.


Funny Rajnikanth Cricket  Jokes for Your Whatsapp and Facebook

  • Why was Rajini so chill during the Cricket World Cup finals?? He has already watched this match in his dreams last night, today he was just watching the highlights.
  • RajniKanth is the Captain, Coach, Manager, and Wicketkeeper of his team. Actually he is a one man team.
  • India needs to score 10 runs of 1 ball in order to win. Rajni is batting, we are hopeless. Bowler bowls it and Rajni hits with power.

The Result: Ball splits into “TWO” 1 half goes to SIX…..The other half goes to FOUR.

  • Anhoni ko honi karde, honi ko anhoni, ek jagah jab jama ho teeno, Ghajni, Rajni aur Dhoni.
  • Unlike Yuvrraj, Rajnikanth hits 6 sixes in 1 ball.
  • RAJINIKANTH was once playing cricket in the monsoons and Rain was cancelled due to the Match. Rajinikanth Rocks
  • Once a boy was playing cricket outside Rajinikant’s house & the ball hit rajnikant’s window. Rajnikant took d ball n told d boy 2 play slowly…… that boy is none other than Rahul Dravid!!
  • Once Rajni played a defensive cricket shot, and the ball landed on mars.
  • Rajni can play Tequila shot in cricket.
  • Cricket Plays Rajnikanth.

Rajnikanth Jokes in Eenglish

Rajnikanth doesn`t shave. He just looks in the mirror and dares hair to grow.

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Headlines of Today:
Ek train cycle ki chapet mein aayi,
train mein sawar sabhi log mare gaye.
.
.
Cyclist, Rajnikanth Faraar!

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Rajnikanth killed a terrorist in Pakistan `via Bluetooth`.

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Rajnikanth was practicing for a spelling test,
the rough sheet he used is known as Oxford dictionary.

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The new Rupee symbol is actually Rajnikanth`s signature.

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I don`t fear exams now because at the beginning of every answer.
I shall write: `According to Rajnikanth.`

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Rajnikanth wear sunglasses to save the sun from his eyes.

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Rajnikanth ordered a dosa at MacDonald`s and he got it.

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Q:Why India`s enemies like China and Pakistan are in north.

A:Because Rajnikant is in south.

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The ultimate and the Rajnikanth award goes to `OSCAR`!


Once Rajnikanth got so excited and he yelled loudly

“Yaaaahoo”
..
now it is known as Yahoo.com

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Rajani can find corner in a circle.

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Ek Baar Ek Judge ne Rajnikanth Ko Crime Karte Hue Dekh Liya..
To Kya..?





Tabse Kanoon Andha Ho Gaya..

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This message is being sent by Rajnikanth in the interest of humanity:
Stop forwarding jokes on me, otherwise I will delete your `forward` option.

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Why does needle of magnetic compass always point towards North?
Becoz Rajnikanth lives in the South and no one can point at him.

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When Graham Bell invented telephone,
he already had 2 missed calls from Rajnikanth.

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Girl (romantically) to Rajnikanth: 1 chutki sindoor ki keemat tum kya jano?
Rajnikanth: 0.00078924576 Rs. per gram.
Don`t mess with Rajni!

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Once Rajnikanth threw an ignited cigarette up in the sky.
It fell on a planet,
which is now known as `SUN`.

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Q: Why Rajnikanth doesn`t play cricket?
A: Bcoz Sachin Tendulkar requested him to keep his world records intact.

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Part of apple`s logo that is missing was eaten by Rajnikanth.


Old Rajnikanth Jokes

When Rajnikanth stares at the sun in anger,
the sun hides behind the moon,
and this phenomena is knows as a Solar Eclipse!

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Rajnikanth’s web server address is //PTTH:rajnikanthjokes.org

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Scientific community’s question “Which liquid turns solid on heating?” ,
answered by Rajnikanth: DOSA.

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Rajnikanth gave his umbrella to a very thin and poor child…….
that child is today known as popatlal of tarak mehta ka ulta chasma..

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When Rajnikanth switches on his AC without closing the door, Winter starts in India.

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Free Recharged top up for every mobile phone *Enna Rascalla*Rajnikanth#

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Rajnikanth can grow mangoes on banana tree.

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Rajnikanth does not install an anti-virus on his PC.
All computer virus are looking for an Anti-Rajanikant software to save themselves from hands of Rajanikant.

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Rajnikanth can go forward by walking backward.

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Rajnikanth can speak chinese in Tamil language.


Rajnikanth can give pain to Painkillers and headache to Anacin.

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ISRO does not exist anymore.
Rajnikanth bought all the rockets for Diwali!

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Rajnikanth once told a lady – “Tu stage pe jake gaa”
.
.
.
That lady is known as lady gaga..!!!

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Rajnikant was once told to choose 3 subjects when he got admission in college…………….
He chose science, arts and commerce!!!!!!!

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Rajnikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.

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Rajnikanth calculates the time of stopwatch when he participates in race.

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Rajnikanth pays salary to his boss.

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When rajnikanth does overtime work gets tired.

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Once Rajnikanth gave his white pair clothes to a child.
that child is today known as sultan mirza.

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Rajinikanth can play the violin with a piano.


Someday Rajnikanth got angry with her mother and threw away her dinner set

today people refer to them as flying saucer in UFO.

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one DAY, naasa scientists found something is flying in mars.
they become happy and shouts – ‘life on mars, life on mars’

later they found
that
.
.
.
.
.
rajnikant was flying a kite on mars from earth……………..

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Once Rajnikant went to U.S.And met Pamela Anderson..
he got desperate and wanted to masturbate..
So he went behind a building and did it for few minutes….

That building is now known as…

THE WHITE HOUSE

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To watch rajnikant movie in 4D on mobile…
Steve jobs thinking to
lunch a new mobile
name is “I-RAJINI”…

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Name : rajnikanth
hobbies : playing with lions
swimming with tsunani
skating in volcano
catching bullets when some one shoots
running against flying plane
playing with lightning
the legend ofindia…
One and only The Rajnikanth…

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Now all the C and C++ programs will execute even with Errors,
.
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.
.
.
.
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.
.
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.
.
Just include the header file, “rajnikanth.h“

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Rajnikant was born on 30 February
.
.
.
.
.
.
Since then February decided not to give this day to anybody else.
.
Mind It.

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Rajnikanth can write into a READ ONLY FILE

Teacher: What is half of 8?
.
.
Santa: 4…….
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Rajni: Depend karta hai agar horizontaly aadha karo to ‘0’ aur vertically kro to ‘3’

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If SUPERSTAR RAJNI would have born 150 year back.
.
.
.
.
Then
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Britishers would hve fought for INDEPENDENCE !!!

Yanna Rascala, MIND It

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Ek bhoot amavas ki raat me 12 baje dusre bhoot ko samjha raha tha…
tu dar mat……..
.
.
.
.
.
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.
.
Rajnikant Vajnikant jaisa kuch nahi hota!

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Once Rajnikant taught a boy to play counterstrike….

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Today the boy is Known as OSAMA-BIN-LADIN…!

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Kal Pure INDIA Me Light Chali Gayi,

Pata Hai kyou ??

kyo Ki..

Rajnikant mobile Charge Kar Raha Tha . .

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Once Rajnikant said to a quite shy girl “plz talk something”..
Now dat grl is known as..

Dolly Bindra

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after 20 years….

robots will make film

called Rajnikant !!

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Once a boy was playin cricket outside rajinikant’s house
&
The ball hit rajnikant’s window.
Rajnikanth took the ball and told the boy 2 play slowly……
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.
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that boy is none other than Rahul Dravid!!

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Rajnikanth went 2 world cookin championship

of course rajni won.

But

guess

what did he make in final???

Lal mirchi ki meethi kheer.

Rajni rocks

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Once dinosaur asked rajnikanth for some money and then rajnikanth gave that..

After few years dinosaur told rajni that he will not return his money from that time

it waz last time when dinosaur appeared

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Rajnikant and a girl were playing cards,
rajnikant had 3 ekkas (AAA) but could not win,

why?….

.
.
.
.
.
Becoz the girl had 3 Rajnikants…

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Once a unknown child came to rajnikants house.
When the boy entered,
rajnikanth askd ‘ae kaun’?? umm ?? ummm??

And today that boy is famous and known as ‘AKON’

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When Rajnikanth does push-ups,
he isn’t lifting himself up.
He is pushing the earth down.

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Once rajnikanth gave kiss to his girlfriend Infront of a kid. Now the kid is known as.
.
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.

.
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.
Imran hashmi.

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Girl: kya tum mere ashiq ho???

boy: haan

girl: to phir mujhe chand,taare,duniya ki saari daulat-khushiya do.

.

.

boy: tumhara ashiq hu RAJNIKANT ka beta nai hun…..

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When rajnikant was a student

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Teachers used to bunk class…

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If you spell ‘Rajinikanth’ wrong on Google
It doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajnikanth?”
It simply replies,

“Run while you still have the chance.”

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Rajnikanth has counted to infinity, twice.

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Once rajnikanth was playing cricket in monsoon…………………..

Rain stopped due to play…….

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Good news 4 all:

No more Tsunamis will occur on India 4m now on
because……..

Rajnikanth stopped washing his LUNGI inIndian Ocean…

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Sardar asked Rajnikant: If Black is A Color & White Is Also A Color
then why Black & White TV Is Not A Color TV?
Rajnikant Shocked
Sardar Rocked….

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ronaldo: maineagar football ko laat mari to wo 3 months gol gol ghumti rahegi ………
Rajni: tumhe pata hai k pruthvi gol kyun ghumti hai?!!


Rajnikanth knows the answer to: “Why this Kolaveri Kolaveri Kolaveri di?”

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If Rajnikant becomes the coach of the Indian Cricket Team..
.
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.
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Don’t even try to guess what will happen..! :O .
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The Indian Cricket Team will win the FIFA and Hockey World Cup too..!

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once rajinikanth was murmuring some random numbers while asleep,
now its compiled to be called log book

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Rajinikanth got so angry at his broomstick boy.he kicked him so hard that he went flying in the air…..
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today that boy is known all over the world as ……
HARRY POTTER

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Once rajnikanth played ‘Statue-Statue’ with a girl.
Till date she is stuck…
We now know her as
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.
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the ‘Statue ofLiberty’.

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what did rajni say in his enemy’s ear that he died.
.
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what did he say.?????????
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.
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”dhiskiyau”

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Rajnikant is d only person in world,

who can make his girlfriend admit her mistake !!

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CAT is outdated.
Now the students have to prepare for RAT.
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Wondering what it is?
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RAJNIKANTH APTITUDE TEST

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Once rajnikanth scred a goal…
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.
But the ‘rajni’(f)act is that..it was his own cross..

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Once Rajnikant said to a quite shy girl “plz talk something”..
Now dat grl is known as..
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Dolly Bindra