Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother
tongue.?
Santa: Very long!
*****
Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA” shloka ka kya arth hai?
Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon.
*****
Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?
Santa: Birla cement.
Banta: Kyun?
Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.
*****
Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.
Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost… 1
bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.
*****
Banta ek sadhu se bola” Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi
upay batao.
Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
*****
Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai.
Santa: Hai.
Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.
Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
*****
Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.
The judge: What’ll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.
Santa: I think I’ll take the money.
*****
Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?
Banta: Me too, after u leave.
*****
A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?
Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja…
*****
Q: How do you recognize Santa’s son, Pappu, in School?
A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.
*****
Santa standing on platform no. 1 suddenly jumps on the railway track.
Banta: Santa u’ll die.
Santa: U’ll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform no. 1?
*****
Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. One day a
pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!
Santa: Oye, this was a missed call
*****
Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.
Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman
*****
Santa: I’m a proud father. My son is in medical college.
Banta: What’s he studying?”
Santa: He’s not studying, they are studying him!
*****
Q: A Man asked Santa, “Akal badhi ya bhains? “
A: Santa bola, “Pehle date of birth to batao.”
*****
Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?
A: Because it was an entrance exam.
*****
What’s Ford?
Santa: Gaadi.
What’s Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi
*****
Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.
*****
Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion’s cage.
Banta: He probably got a lot of applause when he got out.
Santa: I didn’t say he got out.
*****
Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first
– the chicken or the egg?
O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!
*****
Santa (reading from book of facts): “Do you know that every time I
breathe, a man dies?”
Banta: “Why don’t you use a mouth wash?”
*****
Source: Jokes