Lame Jokes

Girl: Main kisi aur se shaadi kar rahi hoon,
Mujhe bhool jao…
Boy: Na tere aane ki khushi,
Aur na tere jaane ka gham,
Dusri patayenge tu jaa behen,
Aaj se tera kissa khatam

Mujh se break-up kar ke tu ban gayi ullu
Mujh se break-up kar ke tu ban gayi ullu

Maine toh nayi patta li tujhe kya milla ?

Babaji ka thullu??

Lame Jokes That Are Funny

Loving couple before Marriage:
‘Janu.. tum nahin to main nahin, main nahin to tum nahin’
The same couple after Marriage:
‘Maa kasam… Aaj tu nahin ya main nahin’


A boy goes with his mother in a taxi,
In between taxi passes by a red light area.

The boy asks his mother after looking at the call girls,

Mom, who are they ?

Mother replied: They are waiting for their husbands.

Taxi driver: Why are you lying the kid ?

He says, son they are prostitutes. They sleep and earn money!

Child Asks: Then mom what happens to the kids these women give birth to?


BF: Baby are you jealous?
GF: No.

BF: Baby are you jealous?

GF: No.

BF: Baby are you jealous?

GF: I already told you, No!

BF: Baby can I get a kiss?


Teacher : who is Tipu Sultan?
Pappu : I dont know miss..! :s

Teacher : Concentrate on your studies..!

Pappu : Do yew know Jennifer?

Teacher : i dont know..! :s

Pappu : Concentrate on your husband..!

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Lame Knock Knock Jokes

Knock Knock Jokes (page 4)
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Isabell who?
Is a bell working?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tank who?
Your welcome!

Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Alex who?
Alex-plain later!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Ketchup who?
Ketchup with me and I’ll tell you!

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Annie who?
Annie body home?

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Watson who?
What’s on tv tonight?

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Cook who?
Hey! Who are you calling cuckoo?

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Spell who?

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dishes who?
Dish is a nice place!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Althea who?
Althea later alligator!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Norma Lee.
Norma Lee who?
Norma Lee I don’t go around knocking on doors, but I just had to meet you!

Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
CD who?
CD guy on your doorstep

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Lame Jokes That Are Funny


Jo dete hai ladki ko tohfe,
Wo late hai unki shaadi me sofe,

Jo jate hai unke piche,
Wo aate hai caro ke neeche,

Jo kehte hai JAANU,
Wahi bante hai baacho ke MAMU!!!

Makan Malik : Rs 700 kiraya hoga.
Kirayedar : Thik hai. Lekin aapke makan me chuhey nach rahe hai.
Malik : To saale 700 me kya Sheela nachegi?

Ek khargosh roj lohaar ki dukan pe jata aur kehta : GAAJAR hai?
Lohar inkar kar deta.

Ek din Lohaar ko gussa aaya aur usne Khargosh ke daant tod diye.


fir kya…

Agle din Khargosh aaya aur bola…


12 Boys planed to propose a girl

10 came with a rose..
But 1 came with a ring – Thats confidence

But what about the other 1?
Wo sala baraat lekar aaya – OVER CONFIDENCE!

Santa mango juice ka glaas le kar baitha tha
Banta aaya aur fataak se juice pee gaya.
Santa – Meri to yaar kismat hi kharab hai. Beta fail ho gaya,
biwi dost ke saath bhag gayi, ghar me chori ho gayi, nalke me
paani nahi, ghar me light nahi.
Aab juice me zehar daal ke peene ko rakha tha
aur wo bhi tu pee gaya saale!

Do judwa baache kamare me baithe the
Ek haans ke lot pot ho raha tha aur dusra udaas tha
Dad : Tum itna kyun haans rahe ho
Son : Mummy ne itni thand me dono baar isi ko nehla diya!

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Lame Funny Jokes

Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply, “It could have been worse.” To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank could find no hope in it.

On the golf course one day, one of them said, “Frank, did you hear about Tom? He came home last night, found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both and then turned the gun on himself!”
“That`s awful,” said Frank, “But it could have been worse.”
“How in the hell,” asked his bewildered friend, “Could it have been worse?”
“Well,” replied Frank, “If it happened the night before, I`d be dead now!”

A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog vendor and says, “Make me one with everything.”
Everyone chuckles, and the vendor makes the dog. The Buddhist hands him a twenty, the vendor pockets it & moves on to the next customer. The Buddhist complains, “Hey where’s my change.” And the Vendor replies, “Ah, change comes from within.”

A guy walks into a bar and sees 3 pieces of meat hanging from the ceiling. The guy asks, “What’s this about?”
The bartender replies, “Well, if you can jump up and slap the meat, you get free drinks for the rest of the night. If you miss, you pay for everyone’s drinks for the next hour. You wanna do it?”
The guy replies, “Nah, the steaks are too high.”

A woman marries a man and has 10 children. The man dies, so the woman remarries and has 10 more children. The next man dies so the woman remarries again and has ten more children. That man dies so the woman remarries and has 10 more children. The husband dies again and finally the woman dies as well. At the funeral, the priest mutters: “Good god! They’re finally together!’ A man at the funeral asks another man on his left: “Which husband do you think he means? The first, second, or third?” The man on his left says; “I think he means her legs”

Three tomatoes are walking down the street. A papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. The baby tomato starts falling behind so the papa tomato squishes him and says, “Ketchup.”

A guy sees a three-legged pig at a new friends farm. He asks why the pig has three legs. His friend says “Let me tell you about that pig, he’s a hero. Last year my house caught on fire, and that pig knocked down my door, and dragged my unconscious body outside to safety.” The guy asks “Oh, that’s how he lost the leg, in the fire?” His friend says “Oh, no, when you have a good pig like that, you dont want to eat him all at once.

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